Feeling Something
by thesolarrock
Summary: Occurs during ME1, just after the Council have locked all the Normandy's system out. Joker becomes jealous as he realises he needs to tell Shepard how he feels before it's too late. Shoker fluff/angst. May contain a few colourful words   Sexual content.
1. Feelings

**Feeling Something**

In the cockpit on the Normandy, docked at the Citadel, just after the events of Virmire, is where Joker sat staring at the monitor as he desperately tried to think of ways to interrupt his commander, who was in the mess hall talking with Kaidan.

He had been listening intently to their conversation over the comm for several minutes now.

She was sat on the floor and leant against the weapons locker, as Kaidan stood in front on her, his eyes fixed on her at all times. Joker hated the way Kaidan looked at her, as Joker looked at her in the same way.

To him, she was this beautiful woman, so strong and brave, and yet so kind and gentle. She was smart and funny, and he made her laugh, and she made him laugh. She was like no woman he had ever met before.

He wished, _oh how badly he wished, _he was in Kaidan's place right now, offering comfort to his commander.

"The council can't do this to us! There must be a way to appeal!" Kaidan's voice shot through his thoughts over the comm, Joker's attention was suddendly back on the monitor watching their conversation once more.

"Don't you think I have tried? Official channels are closed! They were quite clear about that." Shepard replied whilst slamming her fisted hand on the floor in anger.

Joker watched closely, he could see the hurt and anger in Shepard's eyes, all he could do was reach out his hand and touch the monitor, stroking the screen image of Shepard's cheek, as the only way he could comfort her.

"So where do you think the best view will be when the Reapers come rolling through?" Kaidan's voice spoiling his moment again.

"We're not out of the game just yet." Shepard looked up into his gaze.

"Just know I'm here for you-"

_Shut up, shut up, shut up Kaidan! Trying to flirt with her, she's just been rejected by the council and your saying shit like that to her!_

Joker slammed his hand down on the mute button on the console, he couldn't bear hearing anymore of Kaidan's advances towards the Commander.

All he could do was sit there anxiously watching, hoping he could think of a good enough excuse to interrupt.

_Beeeeeeep_

Joker immediately jumped in surprise.

It was the console on his left beeping, pulling him away from his image of Shepard, he quickly answered the noise.

"This is Captain Anderson, please tell Commander Shepard I wish to meet with her in the bar named Flux, tell her it's urgent."

"Aye aye Captain."

This was it, Joker thought to himself, what he needed to break up the all too close conversation between Shepard and Kaidan.

He glanced back at the monitor as he saw Kaidan reach out his hand to Shepard.

_Ha, perfect time to interrupt._

"Sorry to uh- interrupt Commander, got a message from Captain Anderson"

Kaidan immediately stepped back, lowering his hand, with a frown on his face. Shepard rose to her feet on her own.

_Haha. _Joker chuckled to himself noticing Kaidan's frown.

Shepard looked up at the camera on the wall, smiling at it she said in a soft voice.

"What's the message Joker?"

The smile almost made Joker melt, as he noticed there was some relief behind her smile at his call coming in when it did over the comm.

"The Captain said to meet him at Flux, you know that club down in the wards."

* * *

_Decontamination complete._

Joker smiled hearing the voice over, as he knew Shepard was back from meeting Captain Anderson.

"I assume Captain Anderson has filled you in already, Joker?" The voice startled him, as he hadn't even heard her footsteps enter the bridge from decontamination.

"Yes Ma'am, just waiting for the green light." He gazed up at her with a half-smile.

She didn't reply, instead simply gave him a nod as she stood beside the pilots chair, her hands behind her back, waiting with him for the all clear to go.

Just her presence made him feel closer to her.

After every mission she would always come and chat to him, she seemed to enjoy his banter as he would make jokes she would giggle ever so slightly, before returning to her professional Commander role. He knew she enjoyed talking with him, and likewise him with her.

He could talk to her for hours, and could tell her anything. He had told her all about flight school and how he got his nickname. She evened showed genuine concern over his condition, and didn't look at him like some fragile cripple that was going to break any second. She looked at him like a proper man.

He recalled to himself a moment after coming from Therum, where they had picked up Dr.T'Soni.

"_Too close Commander, 10 more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulphur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes, they tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for uh- future reference." _

_He saw Shepard smile at his joke through his monitor._

_His gaze at Shepard was soon interrupted by the sound of a delicate yet erratic voice, the newest member of the crew, the asari researcher._

"_We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?"_

"_Joker pulled our asses out of there, I think he's earned the right to make a few jokes!"_

She had defended him in front of everyone, he felt so special, he even remembered the look on Kaidan's face was priceless. He was not impressed to say the least.

"Commander, I...I-"

Before Joker could finish his sentence, the red light turned green.

"Let's get out of here Joker on the double!" Shepard bellowed, as she turned and moved off out of the cockpit towards the tail end of the ship.

He assumed she went to remove her heavy armour, and put her weapons back into her locker. He didn't want her to leave, he wanted her to stay by his side so he could tell her his feelings towards her, or at least before Alenko got in there first.

* * *

There was a lull aboard the Normandy, as they cleared the Mu Relay heading towards Ilos, most personnel aboard had gone to sleep, it was eerily silent, as Joker shifted around in his seat.

"Still up?" Almost a whisper of a voice came through the cockpit towards him, as he instantly swivelled around in his seat to the voice her recognised so well.

"Yeah, couldn't really sleep. What are you-"

She interrupted, as she moved closer, crouching beside his chair.

"Same here" She smiled, that almost magical smile that made his heart beat faster, her voice so subtle and smooth, not the usual commander tone she put on.

"Commander just so you know I'm here 'til the end of this. I want to see this through, with you."

He could hear the words leave his mouth, and knew it hadn't come out right.

"Don't get soppy on me now Joker." She laughed to herself.

He gave her a smirk before snorting.

"You know what I meant commander."

Her proximity was closer than ever before. She was stooped down next to him, within touching distance.

He couldn't help but stare into her beautiful eyes, he couldn't control himself as he tilted his head leaning forwards to Shepard. She was unaware of his movements towards her until she felt his lips on her own.

Startled she gasped ever so slightly, causing Joker to jerk away in embarrassment turning his head away from her.

"I- I'm sorry Commander, I didn't mean too. Ah shit!"

"Joker." She placed her hand on his chin to turn his face to meet hers.

She stared at him for a few seconds before her eyes lowered to firmly fixed on his quivering lips. She tilted her head and moved towards his lips, closing her eyes as she kissed him.

It was a deeper kiss than before, as her lips separated, along with his own, their tongues caressing each other's.

She pulled away to study his gaze, he looked at her with desire in his eyes,

"Shepard I've felt-"

"Shss" She placed a finger to his lips, she could see it in his eyes without him having to say how he felt about her all this time, she realised it in that one moment.

"I felt something too" She whispered in his ear.

* * *

_This probably just going to be a one-shot Shoker ...as i'm trying to write a Shenko fanfic atm as well._

_Hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave any feedback, good or bad, it helps for future writing._


	2. All Alone

**All Alone**

He could still feel her lips pressed against his own, as he recalled their first kiss. Holding his fingers to his lips he savoured the thought.

They had saved the Citadel from Sovereign and the geth, and all was still in the galaxy for the moment at least.

However for Joker there was no still in his heart, his heart cried out for Shepard he wanted more than just that one kiss before Ilos. He recalled her telling him she felt something but since then nothing.

The council and the alliance had been taking up all her time with endless meetings, figuring out the next steps.

_What if they put her on a new assignment, or send me off somewhere without her._ He wallowed in the thought that maybe he would never see her again.

He leant back in the cockpit on the Normandy all alone, contemplating the next steps the council and the alliance would take, but his mind soon wondered to Shepard.

_Oh that kiss was unbelievable! Her lips were so smooth and soft and sent warm vibrations all through my body. The way her tongue danced with mine in my mouth was truly amazing._

_Shit, what I wouldn't give to kiss her again._

He thought to himself, as his mind began to wonder about the other things he would want to do to her.

_Beginning by kissing along that beautiful jaw line of hers, holding her head still, with one hand, his thumb would be stroking her cheek as the rest of his fingers would be massaging the back of her neck with her hair flowing in between each finger. _

_She'd start moaning as his lips moved down her neck, kissing it very delicately. _

_As for the other hand, that would be on her hips, slowly moving upwards, underneath her skin tight top, feeling her smooth silky skin all the way up to her chest, his fingers circling around each of her breasts that are covered by her lace bra._

_Removing that top of hers and-_

Feeling the constriction inside of his trousers, his mind suddenly comes back to reality, as he realises he was day dreaming about Shepard.

Looking over his shoulder, he looks down towards the galaxy map to see if anyone was around, or if anyone even noticed.

_Of course no one is around, the Normandy is docked at the Citadel, Shepard isn't even here, why wouldn't they be on the shore enjoying their much needed breaks. _He thought to himself.

He was glad he had the Normandy to himself, as he began to unbutton his trousers to allow himself free, his hard member burst out of his trousers as soon as the last button was undone, and stood firmly to attention.

_Wow, no one but Shepard could have this reaction on me. _He laughed to himself, as all his thoughts went straight back to Shepard as he gripped his hard penis, and slowly began to rub it as he closed his eyes once more.

_Top now removed, her sexy body now sat firmly in his lap._

"_Time for that bra to come off". He imagined he would say, with a cheeky grin on his face._

_Tugging at the cup of her bra, pulling it down forcefully exposing just one of her large round breasts. Teasing her as she groans with pleasure, he would slowly move down from her neck, kissing her shoulder and using his teeth to remove the bra strap from off her shoulder, the stubble from his face tickling her down her arm as the bra strap is taken off._

_Her back beginning to arch as the tickling sensations cause waves of pleasure throughout her body._

_Her hands now desperately grasping at his t-shirt, ripping it off as fast as possible, so her soft hands could touch his body all over in a mad frenzy._

_Pressing herself against the muscles of his chest, he can feel her hardened nipple against chest._

"_Oh fuck that is good!" He would whisper into her ear, whilst giving the lobe a little nibble. _

_Unclasping the rest of her bra from the back, the other large breast is exposed, as he takes it in his hand giving it a squeeze, causing her to giggle. _

_She presses her lips against his, slipping her tongue inside passionately. His hand that was behind her neck, slowly moving down her bare back, and down inside her trousers, sending shivers down her spine as she deepens the kiss trying to let out muffled groans at the same time._

"_Oh what is this! No panties Shepard! You naughty, naughty girl!" Giving her ass a good pinch._

_Her eager hands trying to work their way down to his trousers as quickly as possible. Pleasure oozing from every pore of her body as she unzips his trousers with ease, her hand slips inside and pulls out his now fully erect cock._

"_Oh yes, hold it like that baby, nice tight, firm grip!"_

_Removing her trousers, whilst still fondling her breasts with one hand, his other hand free to rub her now exposed core, quivering with delight, her movements becoming more rapid whilst holding his man meat, with her grip getting even tighter._

"_Time for the ride of your life Shep" _

_Her amazing smile beams back at his comment, as she nods eagerly._

_With that, she slides her now moist centre down on top of his throbbing boner, as she squeals in enjoyment at it completely fills her._

_The tightness all around is incredible, he can feel her muscles inside spasm with every movement in and out, deeper and deeper._

"A-mazing_!" She screams, as goosebumps appear all over her body._

_His rod now pounding inside her, flesh slapping on flesh, as her moans get louder and louder, _

_"thats it scream my name baby!" _

"_Jeff, oh yesss Jeff"_

"Ahhhhh shit"

Joker moans as he opens his eyes to find himself covered in man juice.

"Damn, right when it was getting to the good stuff."

* * *

_okay decided to add another chapter, Joker pleasures himself whilst thinking of Shepard :D _

_Enjoy, any feedback is always greatly appreciated._


	3. Assignments and Interruptions

**Assignments**

After taking a long shower, getting himself all cleaned up, he trudges back to the cockpit to his chair, the chair which had now become the centre of many of his wild fantasies with Shepard, in his mind.

As he settled himself back into his seat, he entwined his fingers together and placed them behind his head, as he closed his eyes, thinking once more about Shepard.

"Ahem" A quiet clearing of the throat came from behind him, startling Joker to attention, he spun his chair around, to face whoever it was.

His eyes wondering up the shapely woman's body before him.

It wasShepard.

He couldn't control the huge smile across his face, as he studied her figure from top to bottom, noting those finely curved legs that were so strong and yet so beautifully sculptured. Her flat stomach which masterfully rounded upwards into those breasts, he just wanted to bury his face in between them.

Her face, so perfect with luscious lips that were so kissable, a cute button nose, and eyes which were so seductive, her silky smooth hair covering just the side of one her eyes, he just wanted to run his hands through and brush the hair away from her eyes and stare into them forever.

Everything about this woman drove him crazy, he loved everything about her, and how badly he wanted her.

Struggling to find the words to greet his commanding officer, he gulped and garbled out,

"Com- commander...I didn't expect you to be back so soon."

Getting embarrassed he looked to the floor, as he could feel her eyes set on him.

"Did I interrupt something Joker?" She asked wondering why the pilot was acting so strangely.

"No Ma'am." He instantly replied, his cheeks all the while getting more heated.

"You seem a little flushed, is something the matter?" Her tone turning to concern, as Joker lifts his face up to meet Shepard's gaze. Shaking his head he added.

"I'm fine, just been um- busy, Commander."

A little smirk appearing across his face, as he thought how very different the conversation would have been if she had come back 15 minutes ago and interrupted him.

"Oh okay." Her thoughts wondering why the pilot was being so short with her. She had been so busy, dealing with the Alliance and the council she hadn't had a chance to see Joker a lot since that kiss.

Her mind went back to the mission at hand, and before Joker could say anything, her commander demeanour was back.

"The council want us to head to the terminus systems, get rid of the remaining Geth out there. Put out a call to the rest of the crew that shore leave will be cut short, I want everyone back onboard and ready to go at 0800 tomorrow morning."

He studied her face for a moment, wondering why she hadn't mentioned their kiss, why she continued to put on her commander face around him.

_Was it just comfort she needed, saying she felt something was just said to give a false sense of security before Ilos ._

"Joker, you still there?" Her voice was softer than before, as she bent down to his level.

She stared into his eyes for a few seconds, he was not looking at her but she could tell he was thinking about something. Slowly a response came from Joker, as he felt her eyes on him once more.

"Urr- yes Ma'am, will put the call out now Ma'am."

He began to turn his chair to face the console, but feeling it stop suddenly in its tracks.

"What the-" He looked down to where the chair had stopped mid way around, noticing Shepard's hand on the side.

He slowly turned to look at her, tears forming in her eyes.

"Commander?"

He didn't know what to do, he had never seen her like this before.

A tear beginning to roll down her cheek, as Joker asked again,

"Shepard what's wrong?"

A frown coming over his face, as he realised he hated seeing her like this, she was so vulnerable, and he had no idea how to comfort her.

Instead of saying anything, he raised his hand on the side of her cheek, and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

Her eyes closed as she felt his hand against her face, leaning her head against his hand she sighed, as a smile formed on both of their faces.

He brought her face closer to his with his fingers gripping around the back of her head, slowly bringing her head further, she complied allowing him too, and soon his breath was on hers and there was no more tears.

His lips did not quiver this time, as his lips touched against hers.

It was incredibly slow and intimate, as his lips simply kissed hers, gently separating, as his tongue inched inside her mouth to caress her tongue.

She was still bent down in front of him as her hands crept along the top of his thighs gripping the sides of his legs, pulling him forward towards the edge of the seat in order to get him closer to her.

He separated his legs, as she pulled herself between them, all the while enjoying the kiss as their bodies were getting closer.

_Decontamination complete_

Startled by the sound, Shepard bit Joker's bottom lip, as she scrambled to her feet. Brushing herself off, before turning around to face however had just come out of the airlock.

Doctor Chakwas was standing in the doorway of the cockpit, a smirk on the doctor's face as she noticed the pilot's lip bleeding.

_Why does someone have to spoil everyone moment I get alone with Shepard, why the hell is she even looking at me like that._ Joker thought to himself.

"Doctor Chakwas what are doing here?" Shepard asked also wondering to herself why the doctor was smirking.

She glanced towards where the doctors eyes had fallen on, looking behind her, Shepard saw what Dr. Chakwas had been smirking at. With a smile now forming on Shepard's face, she pointed on her own lip to Joker, to make him aware of his bleeding lip, giving him a quick wink before turning back to the doctor.

Joker immediately wiped his lip, a little shocked to find the blood on the end of his finger, he hadn't realised she had bit him that hard.

"I saw Captain Anderson, told me of the assignment, and am reporting for duty. Looks like I'm already needed." Doctor Chakwas replied, curling her finger for Joker to get up and come with her.

"Come with me Jeff, I'll patch you up in the med bay." Doctor Chakwas added.

Joker stood up slowly from his chair, doctor Chakwas lending her arm for him to lean on, as she helped him hobble down towards the stairwell.

Doctor Chakwas had gotten the opposite impression of what had just gone on between Shepard and Joker, which brought a giggle to the Commander as she watched the two move towards the stairs to the lower deck.

* * *

"What did you say to the Commander exactly, Jeff?" Doctor Chakwas enquired, as they entered the medical bay.

Joker startled by her question, mumbled,

"Oh umm-"

She studied him for a moment.

"Hmm, well I'm sure whatever you said you probably shouldn't repeat it, and you probably deserved it."

Doctor Chakwas sighed, giving up on her line of questioning instead motioned Joker to sit on a nearby bed, whilst she got out a few medical supplies from a nearby drawer.

"Head back now Jeff." As the doctor put on a pair of latex gloves, she took a pair of forceps and picked up a square cotton pad with them, she had just gotten out of the drawer. Wiping it in an alcohol solution she proceeded towards Joker's bottom lip, before adding.

"Now this may sting a bit."

Pressing the pad against his bottom lip, she wiped it gently.

Joker winced at the pad at first touch on his lip, as he sucked in a wispy breath through his teeth.

"Hmm that's odd." She frowned as she took the pad away from his lip.

"Doesn't look much like a punch...Did the Commander scratch you Jeff?"

Unable to control himself, a smile formed across his face partially, before reverting back to normal almost immediately as he winced with pain as the alcohol solution seeped inside the cut on his lip.

"She was always a dirty fighter." Instead of waiting for the pilot to answer, the doctor continued, chuckling to herself, as she handed him an ice bag.

"Keep this on there for 10 minutes. I need to get some supplies from the cargo hold."

The doctor walked towards the door, as the doors parted and Shepard wondered inside.

"How's the patient doing doc?" Shepard asked, moving over towards Joker, who was sat on the edge of one of the beds, holding an ice bag to his lip.

"Ah Commander, I don't know what Jeff said to you, but it must have been one hell of a punch _or scratch_ you gave him. I've only just managed to stop the bleeding." Doctor Chakwas said whilst continuing towards the door.

"I'll leave you too it I need some supplies from the lower deck. No doubt he owes you an apology."

The doctor laughed on her way through the door.

Shepard turned to Joker, with a smile across her face.

"I take it you didn't tell her what really happened?"

"She didn't even give me a chance, I don't like the idea of her thinking you socked one to me. Especially when for once I didn't even do anything" Joker retorted, looking up at his Commander.

"Come on Joker, you're not embarrassed to be beaten up by a girl are you?" She joked.

"Haha very funny Shepard, but when the others find out I'm never going to live it down, the fact that I got punched by you for some horrendous comment I'm supposed to have said. The doc is going to tell everyone I'm a jerk!" He began to tense up.

"Well she isn't far from it though really?" She giggled trying to lighten his mood.

"Hilarious Commander, well this time I don't actually deserve it." Joker said whilst putting a hand on her hips, and pulling her closer towards him.

"Come on Joker, Chakwas isn't going to say anything relax, patient-doctor confidentiality" She lowered her tone whilst placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah I guess you're right! But if I get any shit from anyone I'm telling them what really happened" Joker teased as he pinched her bottom.

Hearing the door Shepard immediately removed her hand from his shoulder, and jumped back a step.

Doctor Chakwas was back from the lower deck her hands filled with all kinds of medical supplies. Her attention was immediately aroused towards the Commander.

The doctor observed, what she thought, was the ending of their conversation. The Commander had a stern-to business tone in her voice, as she was telling Joker off.

"...And I will see you in my quarters later, I want to have words with you about appropriate ways in which to greet your Commanding officer. Is that understood?"

A confused look came upon the pilots face, as he looked up to Shepard who was now winking at him,

"Ooh, Yes Ma'am." He promptly replied, as it all clicked into place for him.

* * *

_Always appreciate reviews :) _

_thanks, hope your enjoying._


	4. Gossip

**Gossip**

Many of the crew members of the Normandy had returned from shore leave over the last couple of hours.

Everyone was busy settling in, and catching up, as the gossip around the ship soon began to spread.

It was Garrus and Tali who sat in the mess hall who first noticed.

"Did you see what Shepard did to Joker?" Garrus asked Tali who was sat on the opposite side of the table.

Her mask suddenly lighting up in response to Garrus,

"Well I heard Joker asked if her chest plate was real." Tali beeped.

Garrus's mandibles twitched at the remark.

"Her chest plate? Well of course it's real!" He enquired looking very confused.

"Humans are so strange." Tali added looking towards Lieutenant Alenko who was busy working at his station.

Sensing pairs of eyes upon him, Kaidan looked up and over towards the table where Tali and Garrus were sat. His brow furrowing as he moved towards them to find out what they were discussing.

Garrus chimed in as he saw Kaidan coming towards them.

"Ah Lieutenant Alenko, I'm wondering if you can tell us why the Commander got so angry over a chest plate?"

Kaidan looked at both the aliens with an odd look on his face as he approached the table where they sat. Looking down at them both he leaned on the table, placing his hands on the edge of the table to balance himself, before asking,

"What are you talking about Garrus?"

"The fight between Shepard and Joker?" Garrus explained.

"What fight?" Kaidan faced mirrored the shock coming through in his voice perfectly, as he enquired further at what he may have missed since his return to the Normandy.

"What happened? Is Shepard alright?" Kaidan continued worriedly.

"Lieutenant, do you really think Joker could hurt the Commander?" Tali interrupted with a hint of laughter coming through in her masked voice.

Taking a deep sigh of relief, he smiled to himself at the thought of what Shepard did to Joker.

"So what happened?" He asked more cheerfully.

"Well apparently Joker asked if Shepard's chest plate was real." Garrus answered.

Kaidan suddenly burst out laughing at the alien's misunderstanding.

Garrus and Tali looked at each other with more confusion coming over their faces.

As Kaidan stifled his laughter, he began to explain what really happened.

"I think you misunderstand what Joker actually said to Shepard. He wasn't asking about her chest plate of her armour, he was asking about her _actual_ chest! In particular, asking if her breasts were real, I suspect, being Joker and all."

"And why did he get hit for that?" Garrus wondered out loud.

At that Kaidan began to chuckle, whilst rubbing the back of his head.

Before Kaidan could begin to explain, Garrus continued.

"It's a valid question." Looking to Tali for a confirmative nod.

"I'm curious to know myself now." Garrus said turning back to Kaidan.

"Why don't you go ask her Garrus? In fact any female members of the crew might be happy to answer your question Garrus." Kaidan joked once again trying to stifle his laughter.

Tali beeped in through her masked,

"I think the lieutenant is trying to get you into trouble. If Joker got punched for it, she'd probably do the same to you too Garrus."

"I think you are right Tali, I must learn more of this behaviour and actions of humans towards one another." Garrus replied as he quickly got up from the table, heading towards the elevator to the lower deck, almost bumping into the Shepard as she came down the stairs.

Shepard politely greeted him, but Garrus's eyes were firmly fixed on her chest, so much so he didn't even realise she spoke to him.

_Bing._

The elevator sounded as the shutter door opened up, pulling Garrus out of his daze. He immediately realised his surroundings, before nodding to Shepard and quickly jumping inside the elevator.

As the doors closed, she shook off the oddness of her encounter with the alien, before proceeding towards her quarters.

Kaidan and Tali were still sat at the table in the mess hall, both their glances going straight to their Commander, who was walking towards her quarters.

Kaidan was quick to react, as he jumped up from his seat, hurrying over to his Commander who was quickly passing them by.

"Commander" He called out to her.

She stopped suddenly in her tracks and turned around slowly to meet her lieutenant who had now caught up to her.

"Ah Alenko, something I can do you?" She smiled politely, just wanting to get inside her quarters and avoid any questions about the gossip going on around the ship.

"I was wondering if I could have a private word with you for a moment?" He said whilst scratching the back of his head, feeling quite uneasy around the Commander after hearing the gossip around the ship about her actions towards Joker.

"Very well lieutenant." She motioned him towards her quarters, as she followed Kaidan through the door.

The door barely even shut before she turned to face Kaidan and ask him,

"Now Alenko, what is it?"

"Well there is a lower deck rumour going around about you and Joker. I was just wondering..."

He trailed off, feeling very awkward even mentioning it, but felt it was necessary.

Shepard sensing his hesitation, asked,

"What are these rumours lieutenant?"

He began scratching the back of his head, whilst shuffling his feet on the spot.

As he stared at the floor, he began.

"Well umm- apparently you hit Joker for asking if your breasts were umm...you know..._real"_ The last part of the sentence an almost whisper as his cheeks became a rosy shade of pink.

Before he could continue, the intercom interrupted, and a strong familiar voice came through filling the room, leaving the Lieutenant silent as he could only listen as the voice had his Commander's undivided attention.

"Haha that's genius, now Commander, don't you want to tell him how it really went down?" Joker laughed over the intercom.

"JOKER!" Shepard yelled.

"YOU WERE LISTENING?" She yelled further at the nearby speaker where his voice was coming from.

"Umm- no Ma'am... Well kind of." Although Shepard could not see him, she knew Joker would be smiling to himself.

He continued. "Anyway Commander there is something, you might want to get down to the lower deck ASAP, Garrus is down there trying to urrr- feel up Liara!" He began to snigger.

The commander looked over at the lieutenant in front of her, who had suddenly gone bright red, he tried desperately not to make any eye contact with her as she folded her arms in front of her chest, putting most of her weight to one leg, as she leant towards that side, glaring at the man before her.

"Something you want to share with me Lieutenant?"

"Umm- no Ma'am"

"Come on Alenko, spit it out, I know your hiding something."

"Hmm, well... I may have mentioned to Garrus, as a joke, he should ask other female members of crew about the rumour, didn't think he would actually do it though." He continued to stare at the floor.

"Back to your station now Alenko, I'll deal with you later." As Kaidan began walking towards the door, he heard the Commander almost giggle as she spoke back over the intercom,

"You too Joker."

_Haha, that ought to show Kaidan._

Joker thought to himself as he sat back in his chair, crossing his fingers in front of him and pushing them out and away from him, clicking all his fingers whilst doing so.

He was quite pleased with himself that he had successfully defused another one of Kaidan's attempts to talk to the Commander alone in her quarters. He got incredibly jealous when Kaidan had basically cornered her as she was about to go into her quarters, trying to take full advantage of her open door policy.

_Thank fuck for the intercom and surveillance cameras all over my baby. _

He thought, if Kaidan had tried making any moves on Shepard, there would have been no chance he would have raced to her quarters in time, but the next best thing:

'Surveillance cameras and the intercom' He said out loud, with a smirk across his face as the fun he had just got up to previously, came flooding into his mind again.

He could interrupt anyone on the ship whenever he felt like it, all at the push of button.

He revelled in having such power.

As he let out a sigh, he flicked on a nearby monitor in front of him, a video link popped up to show the surveillance footage of various areas of the ship. His eyes went straight to Shepard, who was now charging out of her quarters towards the elevator.

She did not look pleased.

He watched her on the Normandy's cameras as she got into the elevator, when she was all alone, heading to the lower deck, he spoke over the intercom.

"So Shepard, am I _really _in trouble?" He asked gingerly.

She smiled up to the camera, before teasing the pilot.

"Oh, like you wouldn't believe."

The elevator soon came to a stop, and the shutter doors opened up to the lower level deck, to find Liara backing away slowly from Garrus, as his hands, almost like pincers, were close to touching Liara's chest.

Shepard quickly rushed over, pulling Garrus back by his shoulder.

"Garrus NO! Whatever Lieutenant Alenko has said to you ignore it, he was just joking with you. Now I suggest you leave Liara and the female members of crew alone until you can behave properly around them. Is that understood?" Shepard said to Garrus as if he was a child with a puzzled look on his face.

Garrus simply nodded in acknowledgement, but still held the confused look as to why he was being told off. He walked off back towards his station by the mako, thinking about what had just happened, muttering to himself as he goes.

"You never get this with turians, always know what is was, humans are just strange."

"Oh by the Goddess, thank you Shepard. I just don't know what has gotten into Garrus today." Liara cried with happiness hugging Shepard.

She pulled away, before telling Liara,

"I suggest you to speak to Alenko about that one." She snorted, escorting the asari to the elevator with her.

"I think you should stay away from the lower deck for now as well." Shepard continued, as they rode up in the elevator together.

* * *

_I had a bit a fun with this chapter, hope you enjoyed it, and don't think the character of Garrus is too out of context, it's just a bit of fun._

_As always I appreciated reviews/feedback very much._

_:)_


	5. Disciplinary Actions

**Disciplinary Actions**

"Alenko!" Shepard barked towards a broken down control panel in the corner of the mess hall.

He turned and quickly rushed in front of her with a salute to attention,

"Yes Ma'am?"

As Kaidan lowered his hand to cup his chin, Liara came from behind Shepard and stood beside her. Kaidan's focus remained on his commander, as she spoke to both of them.

"This whole rumour business needs to get sorted out now..." Her focus shifted to Kaidan as her tone got more serious "You need to explain to Liara why Garrus felt the need to feel her up?"

Startled at Shepard's words a very guilty Kaidan turned to Liara,

"I am sorry Liara; I never thought Garrus would do anything like that!"

"I am not sure I understand why you are the one apologising lieutenant, it was Garrus who was the one trying to umm... touch me." Liara added looking at Kaidan puzzlingly.

"Liara, it was Kaidan's fault Garrus had certain ideas in his head. Isn't that right Alenko?" Shepard intervened, giving Kaidan a sharp look of disapproval.

"Umm, yes commander, you see Liara I was just making a joke with Garrus about certain rumours going around about the commander, and I guess Garrus didn't quite understand." Kaidan explained.

"Rumours?" Liara warily enquired.

Shepard looked to Kaidan to explain, as he began scratching the back of his neck nervously, not wanting to say the wrong thing in front of Shepard.

"Well umm... there is a lower deck rumour going around... that Joker made an inappropriate comment about the commander" Kaidan continued focusing on a spot on the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with either of the people in front of him as his face was turning an extremely bright shade of red.

"Please forgive me, but I still don't think I quite understand." Liara exclaimed, causing Kaidan to squirm even more.

"Well Liara... Joker apparently asked the commander here whether her umm... well you know... was real...and got punched for it." Kaidan almost whispered the last part of the sentence, without looking up from his stare at the floor.

"Alright Alenko, let's just leave it at that, it's quite enough for one day, back to your station" Shepard interrupted before Kaidan could repeat anymore, and turned to face Liara to explain.

"Liara, it isn't really important, what is important is Kaidan was trying to joke with Garrus, and Garrus got the wrong end of the stick." Shepard explained.

"Oh by the Godess, I am even more confused, where do sticks with wrong ends come into this? Is that what Kaidan was referring too? You hit Joker with the wrong end of the stick?"

Shepard lowered her head to her palm shaking her head in the misunderstanding. Before Shepard could explain, Liara interrupts,

"Woah- I have come over all dizzy Shepard, I think I need to go lay down, I need time to process all this information."

"Okay Liara, I'll come and check on you later." Shepard assured the asari, before walking towards her quarters to rest after an eventful few hours.

* * *

_Thrusters on, magnetic plates released, manual pilot mode on and green light for GO._

It was embedded in the pilot's mind, protocol for flying the Normandy was like second nature to him now, as he felt relaxed and at ease at the helm on the ship –Quite the opposite to how he felt around Shepard, nervous, uneasy, it was certainly all new to him.

"Joker, what's our ETA?" A firm voice hollered from the galaxy map at the other end of the ship.

"10 minutes until we hit the relay Ma'am" Joker shouted back.

As he heard footsteps behind him, a smile appeared across his face as he was sure it was Shepard coming to see him.

He was wrong.

"Less of the Ma'am flight lieutenant." Pressley barked as he entered the cockpit holding a holo, checking off various points onscreen as he looked over various consoles nearby.

In disbelief Joker spun in his chair to see Pressley busying himself with the final checks.

"Oh, sorry sir thought you were the commander."

"Commander Shepard is resting in her quarters." Pressley explained placing down the holo down, and turning to face Joker.

"There is something else I need to discuss with you flight lieutenant Moreau" He continued beginning to pace up and down the small area of the cockpit.

"Sup?" Joker casually relaxed back in his chair, placing both hands behind his head watching the XO pace in front of him seemingly nervous.

"As the executive officer and acting CO onboard I feel on behalf of Commander Shepard, I must take disciplinary action against inappropriate conduct towards a commanding officer." Pressley explained waving his hands around in an over exaggeration of gesturing.

"What the-" Joker mumered, removing his hands from behind his head and shifting forward in his seat uncomfortably.

_Shit shit shit, he can't be on about what I was doing the other day in the comfort of my pilot chair whilst thinking about Shepard...could they? _

_No, none can access the surveillance footage of the Normandy unless authorized by the CO...SHIT..._

"No, no Joker no point in denying it, Commander Shepard would not have hit you if you hadn't said something inappropriate to her." Pressley interrupted his thoughts, continuing his speech whilst still pacing in front of Joker.

"I took it on myself to read ' medical report, and it certainly seems whatever you said must have been something outrageous even for you lieutenant."

"I- I didn't-" Joker tried to interrupt.

"No Joker, once we've cleared the mass relay you are on washing up duty, until you learn how to speak to your commanding officer appropriately"

"That's so unfair!" Joker protested giving Pressley a glare in desperation.

"There are always consequences to your actions and I expect you to follow an order flight lieutenant."

With much hesitation Joker reluctantly agreed.

_Power trip much or what, just wait until Shepard hears about this, now we got this special relationship going on...Oh God it was probably her idea!_

Joker thought to himself as he turned back to the helm of the ship, and Pressley wondered back down towards the galaxy map, looking pleased with himself he was able to tell the pilot off.

* * *

_Sorry for the really long delay in updating this story, have been super busy, but now I am able to update a lot more frequently so hopefully will be adding more chapters in due course._

_Thanks so much for all the reviews and everything so far, and hope you're all still enjoying it. _

_:)_


	6. Kind of Soapy

**Kind of Soapy**

Leaning against the doorway of her quarters arms fold in front of her, was where Shepard stood gazing longingly at the pilot hunched over the sink in the mess hall, wearing long yellow washing up gloves which reached his elbows and the edge of his rolled up sleeves.

Shepard couldn't help but giggle to herself as Joker was standing mumbling to himself as he washed the same plate several times over without realising it.

"Damn Pressley, _'I'm your executive officer, I'm the acting commanding officer mer mer mer'_"

Trying to control her laughter she clears her throat, instantly getting the attention of Joker.

"So what did you do?" She asks as he looks up towards her, realising she had been watching him.

"Me? _I_ haven't done anything. Pressley felt the need to punish me on your behalf." He explained, as he abruptly downed his washing up tools into the sink filled with bubbles, making a splash.

"Hey don't stop on my account." Shepard added, trying to put on a sad face towards the pilot.

Shepard couldn't help but burst out laughing once more, as he hobbled towards her, forgetting he was still wearing soapy wet washing up gloves.

"I'm glad you find this funny" He grumbled.

"Oh yes, haven't laughed this hard in ages!" Shepard smirked at the pilot, who stopped in front of her.

"I suppose you were enjoying that huh?" Joker sulked, looking down at the gloves he had forgotten to remove.

"Very much so. I didn't think Pressley took my suggestion seriously" She joked.

"Wait...what suggestion?" He sharply looked up to his Commander with a questioning look.

She cheekily smiled at him, as she noticed him trying to fiddle with the yellow gloves, to remove them.

"I think they suit you" She teased.

Without saying a word, he simply raised his soapy wet glove covered finger and wiped off a splodge of soap suds onto the end of her nose.

"Oi!" She yelped as she ran towards the sink filled with soap suds and gathered up a handful of bubbles in each hand and rushed back towards Joker, who was trying desperately to escape, but failing to doing so, only limping a few feet, to just outside Shepard's quarters.

She caught up to him and placed both hands on the cheeks of his face, and quickly rubbed the suds into his face giggling like a school girl. He caught her eye, and what was quick soon slowed down to a gentle stroking of his cheeks, and then he smiled at her leaning in as if to kiss her, she promptly reciprocated and slowly began to lean in as well, gently closing her eyes...

_SLAP_

Joker had planted a large wet soapy hand print on her ass, startling her into another fit of giggles. She raised her own wet hand towards his face, knocking his pilot's cap to the floor, before he defensively crossed his hands in front of his face, begging for mercy,

"I give up, don't pick on the cripple anymore."

She lowered her hand and soon noticed where she had accidently bitten his lip previously.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, concern coming through in her tone.

He studied her face for a second, unsure of what she meant, before she pointed to her own lip.

"Oh right, where you bit me. Nah it's all good now."

"Well I probably should have said it before, but I'm sorry about that." She softly spoke to him as she traced her finger across the outline of his bottom lip; he parts his mouth ever so slightly drawing her finger inside his mouth where he begins to suck on it in an affectionate manner.

She looks on him in an amorous fashion, smiling at him before she removes her finger and places it inside her own mouth to saviour his sweet taste.

"Kind of soapy" Joker whispered breathlessly, as he licked his lips enjoying his soapy tasting Commander.

He desired more, and in that moment there was no hesitation before his lips were secured onto hers in an electrifying embrace that left their arms flailing all over the others body, desperately trying to grip onto something, nearby walls, tables, each other's clothing, to remain balanced, as they deepened their kiss with greater passion than ever. Stumbling inside Shepard's quarters she slams her hand against the wall to not only lock the door but steady herself from falling onto the floor, as the door closes firmly behind them, Shepard remains backed up against the steel doors as Joker's lips move down towards her chin, circling around her jaw line down towards her neck nibbling and kissing every inch of it.

Grasping at his shirt, she pulls it over his head revealing, to her surprise a well defined upper body physique of the topless pilot with yellow washing up gloves still on.

"Leave them on" She murmurs wispily, as if trying to catch her breath.

He complies wanting not to waste time removing them and more focus his attentions completely on the beautiful woman in front of him. He moves down her body, and lifts her blue uniform shirt over her head, exposing her recently battered body, slightly bruised from the incident on the Citadel involving Saren.

He tenderly kisses around each bruised area, as she moans with delight, goosebumps appear all over her body from the cold touch of the steel door on her back and Joker's lips on her body.

Running her hands over his muscular torso, she decides to take control, pushing the pilot back by his shoulders, over towards the bed. As they stumble over towards the bed, Shepard gives Joker a final push backwards and onto the bed a little too aggressively as he falls onto the alliance standard bed with a thud.

"Aaahh!" Joker yells out in pain.

Shepard immediately attends to the pilot, who has just landed on his arm on his way down on to the bed.

"I'm so sorry Joker, is it broken?" She worriedly enquired, gently placing her own hand on top of the pilots to comfort him.

Looking down at his arm, he delicately moves his arm to sense where the pain is coming from, drawing in a deep breath through his teeth as the pain intensifies with adjustments of his arm.

"I don't think it's broken." He announces to Shepard, releasing his hand out of hold from Shepard's and carefully manoeuvres his arm to rest on his stomach as he lays back on the bed to rest.

"Just need to rest it a while." He added.

Shepard looks at Joker in dismay, as the thought of hurting him cut her deep inside, tears forming in her eyes as she looks away from the pilot.

"I- I'm ..." She tried to speak, but the tears came rolling down her face in seconds.

Sensing her anguish he quickly reassures her,

"Hey, it's okay Shepard, I'm fine."

Tugging at her arm, her sobs cease ever so slightly as she turns to face him, he does not say anything just opens his arm up, encouraging her to lie beside him.

She relaxes into his open arm, and cuddles up close to him, as he curls his arm around her neck to wipe away the remaining tears from under her eyes.

After a moment of contented silence in each other's arms, Shepard softly kisses the pilot's shoulder as she finally manages to hold back her tears,

"I didn't mean to hurt you Joker." She spoke quietly, in between pecks on his shoulder.

"Hey Shepard you shouldn't apologise for anything, this was incredible. You are incredible. Just having you in my umm... _arm_, is unbelievable in itself!" He spoke into her hair, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"You are the incredible one Joker; I never thought I could feel this way before, it's like you have brought a whole new light into my life ever since our first kiss."

Surprised at her honesty, he simply breathed a sigh of relief as he knew this was the start of something special between them.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Still more to come, although the end of this chapter may feel like an ending, it's not. I've got plans for Shepard + Joker :D_


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